As I gradually resurface from my fairly long social media detox, I’ve had the opportunity to reflect on last year. Clearly, it has taken me a little more than the usual two-day new year resolution phase we often go through after we recover from New Year eve celebrations.
When I mean I reflected… I REFLECTED! 2019 was an interesting year for me. As the year progressed, I took a deep dive inward that pushed me to face some unwanted emotions, forced me to truly work on healing and reevaluating what is worth my energy and time. I explored interpersonal relationships and gaged quality over quantity. I focused on listening and trusting my intuition. If something did not feel right it, there was a reason for it. One of the biggest lessons… TRUST your gut.
2019 was also a year to protect my boundaries and really become comfortable with saying “no”, something that has always been truly difficult for me as the typical “must please everyone” oldest child syndrome. I won’t say first born syndrome because I had an older brother whom we lost when I was a toddler. Which was something that I also took time to reflect on and explore in my journey in life as I realized my longing to have a protective brotherly energy into my space may be a reflection of that loss. Sometimes I believe his spirit and brotherly guidance has expressed itself in different male friendships in my journey.
So back to 2019… if I could give it a neon sign (as the Bodega Boys would ask me in an imaginary interview) it would read: “Growth happens when you honor the process”. As I focused inward, I also struggled creatively. Maybe because a lot of the work I had to do internally was a task that really took a lot of struggle and turmoil. Growth hurts! I felt like I really had to take time to be silent. To allow myself to be still. To explore thought and emotions with depth. I usually have something to say but right after being featured in Latina Parent Magazine’s “How to raise a proud Afro-Latino kid” in February 2019, a part of me felt like it was time to begin resetting and take a break from writing. And altough it was a great accomplishment for me to be featured and a possible propeling force to write even more, I felt like I needed a break. I will not call it a writer’s block. It was more of a well deserved writers’ hiatus to explore my purpose as a writer, woman, mother and all of the above.
As you can tell, I am back. With lots of thoughts and lessons to share. Random epiphanies and small “nuggets of knowledge”, as one of my dearest friends calls it, that hopefully can serve another person. Maybe serve another woman that is trying to figure it all out. Perhaps an opportunity to continue my own healing and growth as I wrap-up my late thirties.
Thank you to the readers that have supported the blog throughout the years. When I started the blog back in 2013, I never imagined it would touch so many other women. I never imagined the road sharing my narrative as black Latina woman would resonate with others as much as it has. I am grateful for those that have connected to my writing. At the very least, that coming across one of my post someone decided to embrace their blackness a little bit more by embracing their kinks, curls or coils and go natural.
I am grateful to God for allowing me this opportunity. Now that I am back from my year long hiatus, thank you to my readers for welcoming me back into your reading space. Thank you for being patient.
Love you all,